Not everything we do is the correct thing. We overindulge in food. We stay out far too long. We live lives that aren’t always in line with our objectives, make mistakes, and break promises.
All of this causes unpleasant feelings to surface, such as remorse, humiliation, and even rage, which can undermine your efforts to turn things around. How can you deal with these kinds of bad feelings without allowing them to spoil your day?
We begin by examining three strategies you used to deal with it before moving on to one method you ought to employ consistently.
Refusing to Feel
Don’t we just adore acting as though we can ignore our feelings? We bury them, repress them, rationalize them away, and occasionally even resort to using substances like alcohol or narcotics to stop them. The issue? When you let bad feelings rule you and avoid something, you’re allowing those feelings to rule you. The superior resolution? Allow yourself time to process it and address the root problem.
Acting as if the Feeling Doesn’t Exist
This coping strategy is a little unique. Denying you ever experienced the unpleasant feeling in the first place allows you to slip into it. The issue here is that an emotion intensifies to the point that it becomes intolerable the more you deny it. This time, your answer is quite easy. Recognize the feeling. Recognize it for what it is and allow it to pass on its own.
Taking on the Feeling
Sometimes a bad feeling is so strong that it gets ingrained in your identity. You may even come to feel a little bit proud of it at some point. You start bragging about how much worse off you are than everyone else or stating things like, “Well, I’m just a crazy person.” You’ve turned into the feeling now. The answer? Allow your emotions to unfold. Write in a journal, chat with a friend—do whatever it takes to allow the feeling to pass. Expert advice? Encourage the emergence of happy emotions and let them take the place of negative ones.
Discover
Perhaps the most effective strategy of all is to learn from your emotions. Doors begin to open when you acknowledge that negative emotions serve a purpose in your life and can teach you valuable lessons about yourself. You start to perceive alternative options. Emotions, when used as teaching tools, have the ability to positively transform you rather than control you in any manner. Like when you’re enraged by injustice and channel that rage into changing the world for the better.
